Thursday, June 4, 2009

It's 4a.m now. I've relentless and effortlessly spent more than half of yesterday pretending that i'm still 12. It's an absurd irony, i know. I didn't intend to let myself be an escaped prey of my predator 'homework', but it seems like dying in hands of it seems all worthwhile.

But this is not working either. I tried to strife, i tried to give my best, i struggled. Then gradually i forgot why i was trying so hard. I think these responsibilities are slowly eating away my motivation, and each day, bit by bit i succumbed myself to a new notion, a new negative perception of duties-burdens.

When these cooperate with frustration, i have a totally new vision of the future. It's like a doomed fortune telling, because there is basically nothing that lies ahead. It's like my wooden bridge that had been flimsily suspsending between two cliffs had finally snapped, plunging myself down into a hell hole of a darkness.

It's 4:22a.m, no more time for metaphors and wild imagination. Reality check now: i am currently feeling extremely thirsty. I didn't wanna sleep in my room, i washed the sheet, it had been dried (for a week now), but i had yet to put it back. I'll definitely wake Sorida up if i try to do it at this time of the night.

I shall try to fall aslp. Bed bed, here i come.